I have always known I wanted to be a mom. I always felt like I would be a good mom. I always felt that being a mom was my main purpose in life. But now that I actually am a mom-I am surprised daily just how right and perfect life all the sudden is.
The moment Milan was placed on my chest it was like a light switch flipped on inside of me. A light switch welcoming a sort of love I didn’t know I was capable of. A light switch that changed my whole demeanor and outlook on life.
I have always been a worrier. I stress and overwhelm myself quite easily. I think too much about everything and make myself sick over the littlest things; but not anymore. I have been so relaxed and calm since becoming a mother. Quite ironic to me- I was sure my anxiety and stress would go through the roof worrying about my little baby and if I was doing my best to give her what she deserves. I was sure my mind would be filled with self doubt and feelings of incompetence. Quite the opposite has happened.
I constantly feel like I am in a state of euphoria, full of peace and pure joy. Holding Milan up against my chest, watching her sleep, seeing her eyes explore this world that is so new to her-these are the things that make me feel complete, make me feel like the most successful person in the world, and fill my entire body with the purest form of love.
Now I may not have a college degree, I may have very minimal work experience, I may not be wealthy by worldly definition-but I am a mom and to me that is more valuable than anything else in life. Milan has blessed me more in her two weeks of life than I probably will ever bless her.