Thursday, March 31, 2016

Birth Video

I can't say much about this video other than it speaks for itself! Such an indescribable experience! I'm so grateful and blessed that I get to bring these sweet spirits here to earth! 

Saturday, March 19, 2016

The Birth of Phoebe Rae

So at my 36 week appointment is when I was checked at 3cm dilated and 75% effaced! My doctor basically told me to pack my bags and because I had gone from nothing to 3 in a week he would bet Phoebe would come early! Well 3 weeks passed and she was still sitting all comfy cozy in the womb! Not to my surprise, I’ve guessed since the beginning that I would go over my due date…it’s what I was planning on! For those of you who aren’t familiar with Milan’s birth-I was induced with her because of health complications towards the end of my pregnancy. I hadn’t experienced any of the same symptoms/concerns this time around so we would just wait for my body to go into labor on it’s own! I really really wanted to avoid having pitocin because I knew this time around I wouldn’t be getting the epidural again. I experienced pitocin contractions last time and they were NOT something I ever wanted to experience again. However, my mom was scheduled to leave the country 5 days after my due date so I either had to choose 1. pray baby comes on her own before then, 2. risk my mom not being her for my labor/hospital stay, or 3. schedule an induction so we were guaranteed my mom would be there. I know scheduled inductions for reasons other than medical necessary are controversial- I am not really looking for opinions and research on that! We thought and prayed about it and I really really needed my mom with me during labor…her missing it is pretty equivalent to if Michael were to miss the birth. She was a HUGE support system for my first birth-basicaly acted as my doula. I was already pretty terrified to give birth again after being traumatized from Milan’s birth, I had a lot of fear and anxiety so risking her not being there would just add a whole new level of anxiety. For me it was worth having pitocin again to have her there. And my doctor knew I had to do it unmedicated so we really talked about easing into the pitocin, watching it closely and hopefully being able to turn it off after labor got started. So that was it! We scheduled the induction for first thing Wednesday morning- which happened to be my exact due date! 
Tuesday was filled with last minute errands, house cleaning, and spending time with Milan! Funny side note: we took her to a bouncy house fun center place….she absolutely hated it. I don’t think i’ve ever seen her so afraid in my life! It was the weirdest thing! So our celebration was more like torturing to her haha! We dropped Milan off at my mom’s house Tuesday night where my little sister would watch her and went home to try to sleep!! It was the oddest thing knowing that I would have my baby tomorrow! I was unexpectedly induced with Milan so I didn’t have a heads up or anything, but this time I knew for a week so it was just so weird being able to count down! The ocd planner in me loved that part!! 

Okay now to the good stuff!!

My scheduled induction time was at 7:30! We got in and settled into our room around 6:30 and then started answering all the questions and paperwork and such! The first sign that this was going to go well was when my Labor and Delivery nurse walked in! So long story short I grew up in utah and went to college in Idaho, there was this girl named Bree that we had just been Facebook friends for awhile, we went to the same school in utah and both went to the same college! We were never friends but were Facebook friends…ya know one of those? Anyways! She runs a blog for mommies to be because she is a labor and delivery nurse and blogs about all sorts of topics regarding labor and new mom life! ( I came across her blog and read that she currently works at Chippenham Hospital in Virginia! Okay so crazy! That’s the hospital I was set to deliver at! So I was a creeper and messaged her early on in my pregnancy and seriously overloaded her with questions! Questions about the hospital policies, I explained my past birth, and really just talked to her! She was so helpful in explaining different drugs to me, different options and so on! It was just nice to talk to someone I kinda sorta knew versus just my doctor! Anyway long story! In SHE walks!!! She was my labor and delivery nurse!!! SUCH A BLESSING!!!! She knew exactly what my goals were and knew exactly where I was coming from! Yeah Labor and delivery isn’t exactly the place you want to officially meet someone and bare it all, but she was so sweet and helpful! 

 ...So 7:30 came and it was time to start! The doctor came in and broke my water…for some reason I was terrified to have my water broken, I imagined it being incredibly painful! Funny thing is I didn’t feel anything, just felt like a normal cervical exam! For some breaking of the water sends them into active labor-it would have been nice if that was my case but it wasn’t! I got a little crampy but nothing more than braxton hicks! 
So 8:15 came and first dose of pitocin went in. I was ready for the hell. 

8:45 started to feel some contractions, they were coming every 2-3 minutes at this point. They were to the point that I could definitely feel them but I could still comfortably talk through them.

With pitocin they normally check you every 2 hours to see how to adjust the dosage, so at 10:30 I was checked and was at a 6. That was motivating to hear because I still was doing pretty good pain wise. 

I was still working through contractions pretty well. Definitely painful and rough, but nothing I couldn't breathe through as long as I stayed relax and counted during them. I think the major thing was really thinking through contractions. Which before when everyone told me to focus and relax through them I thought they were crazy-thinking about my contractions seemed like it would make them worse, but it did the opposite. I tried to picture the contraction as a mountain that I was climbing! Each one I was going up up up and then down down down and when I got to the bottom I had a prize waiting for me. If I focused on the each individual contraction versus the many ahead of me I was fine.  
I was then checked at 11:00am and was at  9cm!! They called my doctor to come in for pushing! 

I moved to my hands and knees for transition-it felt best for me and I could feel her move down better in that position. Contractions got really painful at this point. I was starting to really feel the panic/fear set in. I was struggling to relax and focus through the contractions at this point. I started to feel nauseous and remember gagging in between my screaming. I could feel her head, I needed to push and push now! I turned back to my back and asked for the mirror so I could see! I used one with Milan and it was the best motivation during pushing to actually get to see what my hard work was doing!
Baby's head was showing. I could see her hair! The nurses were telling me not to push, we have to wait for the doctor! Of course there's no waiting, my body is doing this whether I want it to or not! So I start pushing! 

Experienced the ring of fiređŸ’„ yikes! I never felt that with Milan but holy cow it literally felt like my vagina was on fire, I remember looking into Michael’s eyes and shouting “It burns! It’s so hot!” 

Two big pushes and she was out! 

She was here! I did it, I freaking did it!! And I remember it! I was conscious, it wasn’t the scariest thing of my entire life. It was empowering, it was real, and I did it. That moment that she was placed on to my chest was the prize that I had worked so hard to get. 



Phoebe Rae Fox! 7 pounds 11 oz, 20 in long!

She was here and she was perfect. So much black hair-which explains the crazy heartburn! We then did an hour straight of skin to skin. It was amazing. My last hospital laid Milan on my chest right away but only for like 10 minutes and then took her away to clean and swaddle her. I loved how this hospital did it this time. They immediately handed her to me and then didn’t touch her again for an hour when I asked if they could weigh her haha! She looked so much chunkier than Milan did so I was curious! Sure enough over a pound bigger than Milan!!! 
Her birth was exactly what I needed it to be! Honestly if I had another traumatic labor like I did with Milan…I don’t know how willing I would be to have another baby. Her birth scarred me, but Phoebe’s birth was so healing. I’m so thankful it was a quick labor! 3 hours and 42 minutes to be exact but the really hard part was only about 15 minutes! The recovery has been amazing this time! I needed Michael’s help a lot more last time getting in and out of bed and showering…I’ve had no problem this time! 
Really she is just amazing, and so calm and content. I can already tell a night and day difference between my girls’ personalities. I think God knew we needed a laid back baby after my fiesty Milan! We are just in newborn heaven over here!! 

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

A mini nursery for a mini girl!


Even if it was a little later than last time, I had so much fun putting together this nursery! There's something so special about creating a space just for baby and getting to daydream of all the time that will be spent together in this room! I think I learned a lot from when I decorated Milan's nursery! Her's had lots of baskets, picture frames, and little trinkets all down low within in her reach! Those all got packed away real fast:)

We didn't want to put a ton of money into this nursery because we hope to move the baby in to share a room with Milan as soon as she starts sleeping really consistently..probably around a year, and then this will be turned into our guest bedroom! Because of that we got a really neutral rug and most of the decor can be moved to Milan's room later!

Here are the sources for those who are interested!!
Crib: Ikea
rug: overstock
ottoman: target
rocker: ikea
dresser: ikea (it used to be in our master)
Pillow: target
shelf: ikea
Flower garland: etsy (I actually bought it for my baby shower and decided to use it in here!)
Floral P: P is from target and the flowers are from hooray everyday and it was my cake topper at my baby shower! Yay for double use!)
moccasins: sweet n swag
Glass fox: It's a salt and pepper shaker from target
Pink house shelves: target
Laundry basket: at home
Changing table basket: Home goods
Pink basket on shelf: target
Print above crib: It was a digital download from etsy and I printed it at walgreens!
Bloom where you are planted print: she created this custom piece for me that is even prettier in real life! All I did was tell her what quote I wanted and she did the rest! It goes perfectly! She has such a talent!!
Mirror set: home goods
Mobile: DIY that I'm very proud of! Flowers and hoop are from hobby lobby!

Obviously I love target and ikea! Whoops! Hahah

Anyways! I can't wait to see my little baby girl in this room! It's so special knowing she'll actually use this room that I've spent time creating! We moved shortly after Milan was born and I felt like her nursery was kind of a waste:( I really love how everything turned out!